Messages in this thread | | | From | "Peter T. Breuer" <> | Subject | Re: draft for review - press release | Date | Thu, 14 Jan 1999 12:28:30 +0100 (MET) |
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Nice try, but you're probably not a writer by trade!
Too many numbers, jargon and acronyms. Cut by a factor of 10. Repetition.
Peter
"A month of sundays ago Smart, Kylie wrote:" > > Please make sure any replies go to gsmart@tennyson.com.au > > hello, > earlier today I said I would draft up a press release for > when linux 2.2.0 gets released because of the publicity. > Anyway here it is. Please have a look and give me any suggestions > that you might have. In particular I would like to order new > features by importance, I'm sure I've missed some too. If > people feel this job should be taken on by someone who has a > high profile then I'll happily hand it over (i.e. I won't take > it personally). > > cheers > Greg Smart > > > > > PRESS RELEASE - LINUX KERNEL 2.2.0 > > The Linux kernel development team has released stable kernel version > 2.2.0. This release emcompasses the bug fixes and enhancements of the > 2.1.xx series of development kernels, and the 2.2.0 pre-release kernel > series. This release supercedes stable kernel v2.0.36, and is intended > for inclusion in GNU/Linux distributions.
For example, getting out my red pen.
The Linux team, a worldwide group of computer hackers led by Linus Torwalds, now at Transmeta Corp. in the USA, has released a new operating system kernel. The new kernel has been in development for nearly three years, and will soon be powering the future GNU/Linux distributions of the popular UNIX-like operating system for the PC, sparc, alpha and many other platforms. Hello Linux 2.2!
Etc. etc. Eric Raymond should probably be left to do this!
Peter
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